Susan Sontag (1933-2004) was an influential American writer, filmmaker, philosopher, feminist, and political activist. In 1972 she wrote "The Double Standard of Aging" for The Saturday Review, in which she addresses the intersection of ageism with gender inequality (link to essay below). Sontag critiques the ways in which women are often judged more harshly for showing signs of aging, while men may be perceived as gaining status or wisdom with age.
From the essay:
There is a model account of the aging crisis in Richard Strauss’s sentimental-ironic opera Der Rosenkavalier, whose heroine is a wealthy and glamorous married woman who decides to renounce romance. After a night with her adoring young lover, the Marschallin has a sudden, unexpected confrontation with herself. It is toward the end of Act I; Octavian has just left. Alone in her bedroom she sits at her dressing table, as she does every morning. It is the daily ritual of self-appraisal practiced by every woman. She looks at herself and, appalled, begins to weep. Her youth is over. Note that the Marschallin does not discover, looking in the mirror, that she is ugly. She is as beautiful as ever. The Marschallin’s discovery is moral—that is, it is a discovery of her imagination; it is nothing she actually sees. Nevertheless, her discovery is no less devastating. Bravely, she makes her painful, gallant decision. She will arrange for her beloved Octavian to fall in love with a girl his own age. She must be realistic. She is no longer eligible. She is now “the old Marschallin.”
Sontag notes that it is startling to comprehend that the Marschallin is only 34. Later in the essay she writes:
The situation in which women are kept minors for life is largely organized by such conformist, unreflective preferences. But taste is not free, and its judgments are never merely “natural.” Rules of taste enforce structures of power (emphasis mine). The revulsion against aging in women is the cutting edge of a whole set of oppressive structures (often masked as gallantries) that keep women in their place.
"Rules of taste enforce structures of power" suggests that cultural norms and standards, including those related to age and aging, perpetuate gender inequalities. The quote has become popular because cultural norms and standards of taste are not merely neutral guidelines but are instead closely intertwined with systems of power and hierarchy within society. What is culturally valuable is often determined by those in positions of power or privilege, and these determinations serve to reinforce existing social structures. Certain aesthetic preferences or artistic traditions may be elevated and promoted by dominant cultural institutions, while others are marginalized or excluded.
Many of the points made in her essay continue to resonate today, but what does all this have to do with theater etiquette?
There is a fair amount of hand wringing in the performing arts around audience etiquette. We have come to the conclusion that audiences are so poorly behaved that we have to create and enforce guidelines for good behavior. Nearly every performing arts organization has "know before you go" language or guidelines for etiquette that are meant to somehow help the hapless patron that wanders into the sacred environment of the theater.
The photo above and the cover photo are part of a series of lantern slides created in 1912 and used in movie theaters before the show and during intermission. Truthfully, not much has changed in more than a hundred years. Before that we know that theater in the Elizabethan age was, to put it mildly, something closer to unbridled chaos.
All of this is in stark contrast to our efforts in the arts around inclusion and equity. We strive to create a welcoming space for diverse audiences, but once they are in the seat, we feel obliged to teach them how to behave like civilized people. It's hard to imagine a more patriarchal dichotomy, and yet here we are.
Dr. Kirsty Sedgman echoes Sontag's essay in her book The Reasonable Audience: Theatre Etiquette, Behaviour Policing, and the Live Performance Experience. Sedgman scrutinizes the role of theater staff, performers, and audience members themselves in maintaining and enforcing behavioral standards. By highlighting issues of class, gender, and privileged culture, Sedgman uncovers the underlying tensions inherent in the regulation of audience behavior, noting that standards of "reasonable" behavior are often difficult to define. She concludes by advocating for a more inclusive and equitable approach to theater etiquette that respects the diverse experiences and backgrounds of all theatergoers.
Cultural norms around audience etiquette are shifting in subtle ways whether we like it or not. Dress codes are decidedly more casual (although there are signs that younger audiences actually like dressing up). Standing ovations are now de rigueur, whether the show is any good or not. As for cell phones, the temptation remains strong for actors to intervene and shame the audience goer. Meanwhile at a concert, cellphones are ubiquitous. In another essay on photography, Sontag comments: "Photography has become one of the principal devices for experiencing something, for giving an appearance of participation." This was 1977, but the sentiment rings true today.
I am all for changing cultural norms if it means that we can remove barriers of privilege and elitism. At the same time, it's one thing to practice good etiquette, but it's quite another to be oblivious to your surroundings and your fellow audience members. There is a body of research that suggests that social media is creating a variety of social and psychological problems, including anxiety, depression, and isolation--all signs of antisocial behavior. I would not be the first to suggest that "social" media is a misnomer. Sedgman states: "...there is nothing snobbish or elitist about good manners, and that it is offensive to suggest that people whom society has marginalized may be unwilling or unable to adhere to stricter codes of conduct."
Beyond class and privilege, there is this nagging feeling that we're all just out of practice being together. To that end, we should embrace the performing arts as the antidote to isolation, and encourage our unruly seat mate to put down the phone and join the fun. Or as Sedgman says: "This is about bringing people together into co-present space and taking part in that audience ethics of care: opening up an opportunity for shared concentration in a world that increasingly facilitates distractions, sensing others’ minds and bodies settle into harmony with your own, witnessing individuals transformed into publics, and building up a communal experience together."
Anyway, kids these days.
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Sontag, Susan. The Double Standard of Aging. The Saturday Review, September 23, 1972, p. 29-38.
Sontag. On Photography. (New York: Farrar, Straus & Giroux), 1977. p. 177.
Sedgman, Kirsty. The Reasonable Audience. (London: Palgrave Macmillan). 2018 p.45, 149